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Mythos and Logos
01 December 2010 @ 09:25 am
"People change for two reasons: they either learn enough so that they want to or they hurt enough so that they just have to."

It is pouring outside today. Absolutely miserable. So I am skipping my first class. It's just calculus, who needs it anyways. I'm going to go as long as possible without eating. So far I'm just staying in bed, watching old Grey's Anatomy DVDs. When I do give in I'll have oatmeal, so that's 130 calories. I feel thinner today but it is definitely not good enough. When I look back on how thin i was 3 or 4 years it drives me insane. I was 28 pounds lighter. I'm 5'9" and the last time I weighed myself i was 145lbs, but that was a week ago. 3 years ago I was 118lbs. I remember how difficult it was for me to get below 130 and then again to get below 120. That is all so far away now. I can't imagine getting that low again, even though to most people it is not very low at all.

I can't wait to get home and play with my little perfect puppy. She is a complete maniac but such a sweetheart.
Mythos and Logos
01 December 2010 @ 09:20 am
Who was your best childhood friend, and where are they now?

My best childhood friend was Kelly. We were together absolutely every single day.
At dance classes we would pretend that we were sisters and our parents were just separated.
Now, she is 20 years old and has a 1 year old son. Our mutual friend, her best friend throughout high school
died last year, and she never got to meet Kelly's son.
I think she is OK though.
Mythos and Logos
30 November 2010 @ 09:04 pm
"At the end of the day, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart…or what’s holding you together."

Well I've been driving myself crazy lately.
I wonder if everyone feels this stressed out inside or if it's just me.
I'm trying to find an internship for this summer,
I work in baseball. It is not easy.
I've applied to about 15 teams, am waiting to hear back.
And every single night I freak out about my man situation.
I'm 'dating' someone new. We've been together since July.
He was hurt very badly by his last girlfriend.
They were together for 4 years and bought a condo together.
And then one day she just kicked him out.
And I can't tell if he is still in love with her,
or if he just scared of getting hurt again.
So EVERY single day I freak out about it.
I really can't decide if it's worth it.
But the sex is AMAZING, so I guess it is.
What's life without getting your heartbroken by every boy you've ever dated.

I had 875 calories today. I'm happy with it.
Hoping to lose 10 pounds by Christmas.
I'm confident.
Mythos and Logos
03 October 2010 @ 08:49 pm
i hate my life.
Mythos and Logos
29 September 2010 @ 08:23 am
ugh, Bryan came to visit yesterday. we went to Pepe's for pizza
it literally drives me crazy how much i like him
and how much i think it is going to come crashing down
but on a happier note
i'm getting a puppy saturday, AND I CANNOT WAIT!
Mythos and Logos
25 March 2010 @ 01:37 am
i have been patiently waiting to hear back about an internship
the bosses talk like i am hired but they haven't actually hired me yet
it's extremely frustrating, i just want to know i have it!
Mythos and Logos
09 March 2010 @ 03:59 pm
 weird, today and yesterday i had 518 calories each day. such a random number to hit two days in a row hahah.
today has been really stressful school wise, 3 exams = no fun
this is going to be a short post, sorry xoxo
Mythos and Logos
07 March 2010 @ 09:13 pm
 so it has been MONTHS but i am back on livejournal
i'm amazed i still remember my password
well i'm currently 138 pounds (5'9") . eeegahd, i know
& beginning to fall in love with a boy who lives 15 hours away.
just perfect.
thursday night went out with all my friends
my ex boyfriend & one of the really close friends for 6 years made out RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME
so yeah, needless to say i came home at 11
crying my eyes out
and had a revenge hook up with this kid who is in love with me
once again, just perfect
i really should be studying for accounting, but this is more entertaining. 
why can't i go back to junior year of highschool
i may have been fucked up but at least i was skinny
anyways, i'm gonna go try to pretend to happy
Mythos and Logos
24 May 2009 @ 02:17 pm
 lalalalala remember that luis boy? the one i dated last summer/fall?
well at a party this weekend, i talked to him on the phone for an hour.
(he lives in boston aka too far away)
he wants me to come visit him, & i really want to see him
i just really don't want to go that far, i feel bad
because he really wants me to come, but i just won't
he can't come down here cause he hasn't bought a car yet
maybe i'll just wait til he does? idk, i do really miss him though
even just on a friend level, we only talk 1 time a week these days if that
i need to sort out my room, it's a shit hole full of stuff i brought back from college
Mythos and Logos
22 May 2009 @ 09:09 am
 today i'm fasting, i don't care anymore
i tried not to fast & just stay under 500
but fuck that shit, somehow i'm up two pounds
HOW?? i have no idea, because yesterday i ate 475 cals
well tomorrow i'm going bathing suit shopping
with some girls from work
who make me look like a whale 
my ass is way too huge to fit into any bathing suits
i'm going pick up my pay check today
then going apply for a 2nd job, what a fun summer